Lost Love
by Aivalee33
Summary: “Is something wrong, Severus?” Lilly inquired. Severus snorted at this.“Is something wrong? I dunno, Lilly. Is there something wrong with you running around with Potter behind my back?” The story of Lilly and Severus. SSLE


Alix Jago 

6/29/06

Severus Snape, potions master at Hogwarts, was sitting at his desk, head in his hands.

"Why cant that Potter brat keep his nose out of other people's business? Why must he bring up memories purposefully forgotten?" He got up and walked into his private chambers. He pulled a leather book from its shelves and sat down in the armchair closetto thefire. He opened the book and stared at its contents. It was a picture album. The pictures were of Lilly and Severus. They were both smiling. They were both so happy.

'Lilly,' Severus thought wistfully. 'I miss you so much,'

Not many people knew that Severus and Lilly had dated for about two and a half years.

They started dating at the beginning of fifth year. Severus knew that he had called Lilly a mudblood, but they had decided to keep their relationship a secret. They had to keep up pretenses. Severus had loved Lilly so much, and he had been happy for the first time for so many years. But then James Potter flew in and stole Lilly's love from Severus.

Severus smiled softly as he remembered when he asked Lilly out. His hands were shaking as he walked to the courtyard where Lilly had agreed to meet him. He knew that they had been friends for a while now and that Lilly wouldn't mock him or laugh at him, but he was so scared of rejection. His family and much of Slytherin had rejected him. Lilly was his best friend, his only friend besides Lucius Malfoy and Severus didn't trust him all that much.

"She's going to say no, she's going to say no. No she won't. I'm sure she likes me. What am I saying, of course she'll say no. Who would go out with me?" Severus stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh my God! Why am I doing this? I should turn back now." Severus nearly did turn back until he remembered Potter's taunts earlier that day. "Ooh, poor Snivellus can't even find a date to the Halloween ball. Of course who would want to go with a slime covered git?" Of course, this set off a fight which landed both parties in the infirmary. Severus was going to prove Potter wrong. He was going to ask Lilly to the dance. So, with a newfound confidence, he strode towards the courtyard. All of his resolve vanished as he saw Lilly sitting on a bench, a book in her lap, red hair flowing in the breeze.

Severus sat down next to her. Lilly looked up and smiled. "Hey, Sev", she said brightly. Severus suppressed a wince at Lilly's nickname for him.

"Hi. I, um, I was wondering if, maybe you would like to go to the Halloween Ball with me?"

Lilly's smile faltered. "Oh Severus, I'd love to, but Frank Longbottom already asked me." Severus's eyes flickered for a moment with hurt before he closed off all of his emotions. Lilly noticed this and spoke. "We're only going as friends you know. There is nothing between us. He only asked me because Alice is going with Sirius." Severus sneered at Black's name. His face brightened, though, as he thought of something.

Well then, would you accompany me to the next Hogsmeade weekend?" he asked. Lilly grinned. "Of course. It's a date. Oh, Severus, you need to show up at the ball. I'll be saving a dance for you." Severus smiled. "I'll be there."

Lilly's grin melted into a soft smile. She leaned in closer to Severus and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "I will see you later then?"

Severus nodded and watched Lilly as she walked off. He sat there for a few minutes before remembering that he had a class in two minutes. "Holy crap! I'm gunna be late!" he thought as he frantically gathered his books and ran off to Potions.

Severus smiled. Their date had gone surprisingly well. There had been only one incident where Severus had a tray of butterbeer spilled all over him. He nearly cursed the clumsy waiter, but Lilly calmed him down. Their relationship had been good; no it had been wonderful.

Unfortunately the saying all good things must come to an end was so horribly true in Severus and Lilly's relationship. The last half-year of their relationship was rocky at best. Lilly had started hanging out with James more and more therefore, spending less time with Severus. Also, Lucius found out about their relationship.

Flashback 

Lucius stopped Severus in the hallway.

"Snape, I know you are dating Evans," He said scornfully.

"What are you talking about, Malfoy?" Severus sneered.

"Don't try to lie Snape. I saw you kiss her the other day." Severus paled.

"Don't say a word to anybody," Severus pleaded.

"Don't worry, I won't. I'm just going to tell you something that might change your mind about your precious little girlfriend. She's been cheating on you with Potter," Severus shook his head fervently.

"No, they're just friends. Lilly wouldn't do that to me,"

"Of course she would! She's a Gryffindor. She never loved you,"

"Shut up!" Severus yelled, punching Malfoy in the face. Lucius looked up, blood running down from his nose.

"Fine, but when you realize that she's been lying to you, you'll feel like a fool. You should just join my master and break up with that little skank."

Severus stormed off, fuming.

'Lilly wouldn't do that! He's lying. She's just friends with Potter. His thoughts went to all the time she'd been spending with Potter. All the times she'd seen her coming out of the Gryffindor common rooms flushed. Severus banished these thoughts immediately and put them in the back of his mind.

Over the next few months their relationship grew steadily worse and worse. Severus kept remembering the conversation he had had with Lucius. He started to believe it was true. He just didn't want to accept it.

One night, Severus was wondering the hallways until it was time for him to meet up with Lilly. Severus turned the corner. There he saw Lilly and James kissing fervently. Potter's invisibility cloak lay at their feet unnoticed. Severus swallowed back the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. He wasn't going to attack Potter like he so desperately wanted to, he wasn't going to yell and scream and cause attention to himself. No, he was going back to Lilly and his meeting place so he could wait for her. He then turned around and quickly walked away, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall.

Severus looked up as Lilly entered the room.

"Hey, Sev." She said, sitting down next to him. Severus didn't respond but resumed looking at the fire.

"Is something wrong, Severus?" Lilly inquired. Severus snorted at this.

"Is something wrong? I dunno, Lilly. Is there something wrong with you running around with Potter behind my back?" Lilly grew mad.

"What? How dare you! How dare you accuse me of cheating on you! Where on earth did you get such a notion? It was Malfoy wasn't it? I don't see why you listen to him."

"I saw you together, Lilly." Severus said, softly. Lilly stopped in mid rant.

"Then I suppose I should stop trying to lie to you, then." She said. Severus nodded.

"I just don't see why you didn't break up with me if you didn't like me. What was the point? To humiliate me? Well, you did a perfect job, like always!" Severus was furious now.

"Sev," Lilly started.

"No! Just shut up! Get out of my sight you filthy mudblood." Severus sneered. Lilly burst into tears and ran out of the room. A few minutes later, Severus left for the Slytherin dorms.

"Malfoy!" he called. The blonde looked up from his book.

"Yes?"

"May I speak with you?" Malfoy nodded and got up.

"What do you want, Snape?"

"How can I be initiated into the Dark Lord's ranks?" Severus asked. Malfoy smirked.

"I knew you'd come around Snape,"

End Flashback 

Severus sighed as he heard a knock on his door.

"Enter," he called. Albus Dumbledore walked in.

"Severus, why have you told Mr. Potter that you won't teach him Occulmency any more?" Severus glared at Albus.

"I will **_not_** teach a boy who doesn't respect my privacy and literally puts his nose in memories not meant for him to see!"

"Severus, he needs this,"

"Then you'll have to teach him because I bloody well won't do it!" Albus sighed.

"I will leave you to your thoughts, then." He said. As soon as Albus left, Severus sank to the floor as tears came up into his eyes.

'I will not cry. I will not cry,' he thought. Flashes of Lilly's bright smile, her enchanting green eyes, her ringing laughter went through his head. The dam holding back Severus's tears broke ac the tears cascaded down his face. Severus wept for his ability to love that had long since faded so many years ago all through the night.


End file.
